Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
