We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
