In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
soo... how was my night?
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