i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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