I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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