Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
