I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
