we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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