i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
