He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
