He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
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I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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