party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
