Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize