Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
