My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Rumble strips road head = magical
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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