Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
