grandma shit on top of the toilet
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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