If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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