can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
