we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
