R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
