I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize