Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
