Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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