Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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