She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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