I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
