walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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