Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
