nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
