Porn is love you can see.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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