New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Your cock deserves a montage
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
