I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Come on in and take your pants off
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