based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
