How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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