I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dick very happy bro
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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