Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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