so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
