And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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