I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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