I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
