I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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