hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
