ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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