Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
