Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
