mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
