don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize