Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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