Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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