I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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