Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
