Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
