So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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