I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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